5SOS Preference #67: The Only Reason (His POV)
HHAHAHAHAHA IM GONNAC RY
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Ashton: ”Bitter words are spoken, everything is broken. It’s never too late to bring us back to life”
Bitter words were exchanged in this heated argument, words that could pierce someone’s heart in a moment, words that would leave permanent scars in your heart, and words that leave wounds that could take forever to heal. This little fight of ours have already left us both in tears, and we both knew that we were already dying inside but neither of us wanted to back down. We knew this relationship was starting to fall apart and it would completely crumble soon. I know that we were only keeping this us because we both knew that it would be the very last time the two of us would argue like a couple. We both knew that we would break in the near future, it would only take a little push and everything that we have ever worked for will shatter right before our eyes. Everything was already broken, but I still had this tiny spark of hope ignited inside of me that wants a second chance. I would never stop hoping for this relationship to work out, because it’s been a long time since I last felt like this for someone. It’s been a long time since I wanted to settle down with someone, it’s been a long time since I saw myself with in the future, it’s been a long time since I could see myself with a beautiful girl on our wedding day, smiling as I watched her walk down the aisle with her father. Yes, I have had thoughts of what the future would bring the both of us - I loved her too much, and I loved her with all of my heart. It’s painful to see everything crash and burn just because of a few mistakes, I’m not even sure if this could still be fixed, but we would never know unless we try. Finally, she broke down on the floor, head in her hands as she sat down, sobbing. I stopped yelling as well, calming myself down as I knelt down beside her, instantly regretting all of the nasty names I called her and all of the hurtful words I said to her. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close to me as she sobbed in my chest, clutching my shirt like her life depended on it. I could feel the tears soak up my shirt, but I didn’t give a shit. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I love you,” I kept repeating in her ear, over and over and over until she calmed down. Once she finished crying, I rubbed her back up and down and placed a firm kiss on the top of her head. “I’m sorry, I want this to work out. Can we please just start all over again?” I asked, making her look up at me in confusion. I shot her a warm smile, and she smiled as well, the butterflies in my stomach taking flight as she did. “It’s never too late to bring us back to life,” I whispered in her ear, making her giggle and wrap her arms around me, pulling me closer to her body. We stayed like that for a few moments, just savoring the feeling of having each other close, our hearts beating as one and that was the moment I knew that I could never let whatever we had to go waste - I will definitely protect this until the very end.
Michael: "Don’t talk, let me think it over. How are we gonna fix this? How are we gonna undo all the pain?"
Her voice rang in my ears as I tried to drown out her words, her words were pained and you could see how broken she was just from her smile. She wore a broken smile and a worn-out expression on her face, there were mascara lines trailing from her eyes down to her chin, and the tears just wouldn’t stop flowing from her once alive eyes. I couldn’t even remember how we ended up like this - we used to be so happy, we thought that we would have a happy ending and we thought that we would end up together until the very end. But sadly, life had other plans for the both of us and tried to do it’s best to separate us and give us as many hardships as it could. “I don’t even know anymore Mike,” her voice cracked, as she tried to choke in the sobs. She put a hand onto her mouth, closing her eyes shut as she tried to muffle in the sobs escaping her lips. This is one of the many problems of being in a relationship with someone who’s in a band - the long distance relationship. I go back to touring in a few days, and she called me up, wanting to talk things over. Things about us, and everything we had and everything we are. I wasn’t expecting her to come and begin crying about giving up on this, on us. She told me she was tired of fighting for something that might not even be worth it anymore, and she broke down crying in front of me. I tried to contain myself and fight the tears that threatened to stream down my face any second now, because I still loved her with all my heart. I fell in love with a beautiful girl I met at one of my shows in the past, and we have been together ever since then. Who wouldn’t fall in love with someone like her? Someone so beautiful, so gentle and so fragile, so broken. She made me want to fix her again, and along the way, she also made me fall in love with her. We were so in love just a few weeks ago, and now she just randomly called me up out of nowhere, wanting to end things with me for good this time. I didn’t want her to, I didn’t want to lose her. She’s my light in the darkness, she gives me a reason to be happy, and she’s the only reason why I’m still strong despite all the hardships being thrown at me from all directions. “Don’t talk,” I whispered, which came out more of a choke than a whisper. I leaned onto the wall behind me and began to bang my head against it, the tears that I struggled to fight began to roll down my cheeks as the ache started to spread through my veins. “Let me think it over,” I continued quietly, shutting my eyes as I recalled everything that happened these past few weeks. All the disagreements, the fights, the lack of communication. A sigh escaped my lips when I realized that our relationship was faling apart, and I didn’t know what to do to fix this. “How are we gonna fix this, huh? How do you suggest we fix this relationship?” I asked her, opening my eyes to see her frowning at me. She shook her head, a sad smile replacing the frown on her face, “I’m done trying to fix this broken relationship Mike. It’s clear that we shouldn’t even be together, we shouldn’t force this when it wasn’t meant to happen in the first place anyways.” She used her pointer finger to wipe a stray tear from her eye and she sniffed, “We can’t undo all the pain Michael, even if you try, you still get hurt in the end. That’s what love’s all about,” she turned around, casting her gaze onto the floor. “I’m so sorry,” she peers over her shoulder and my eyes were met with her piercing ones, brimming with tears as her lips quivered with her final words before she walked out of the door, and out of my life forever, “Goodbye.”
Calum: "When I close my eyes and try to sleep, I fall apart and find it hard to breathe. You’re the reason the only reason"
My body feel backwards onto the softness of my bed, my head landing on the familiar comfort of the pillows. Despite the comfort provided by my bed, I was anything but. There was so much aching in my chest, I couldn’t handle the hurt right now. A tear ran down my cheek as I stared up at the ceiling, unmoving and unfeeling. There was just too much hurt that I was absolutely numb to everything else around me, I could only blink and cry, reminisce on all of the memories I ever had with her. I tried my best not to let the thoughts of her fill my mind, but of course, that couldn’t happen because she was everything to me. She was all I could ever think about, whether it was a good day or a bad day, I would always find her popping into my head at the most random times. Once the thoughts of her started to fade, I rolled over so that I was on my side now and gently closed my eyes. I needed to get some sleep because I have a big day ahead of me tomorrow, there was still so much writing and recording to do, my schedule was absolutely packed. But even in the darkness, she was the only thing I could see - her smile that would light up the entire world, her laugh that would fill my ears and make me smile, her eyes that would look into mine and those eyes I could get lost in forever. I missed her, I missed holding her in my arms like I used to every single night. I missed her, I missed the familiar scent she would always carry around with her, the addicting and intoxicating smell she always had around her. I missed her, I missed the way she would drive me crazy with just one touch, she was like a drug that I could never get enough of - addicting and unhealthy. That was when I realized that I couldn’t breathe, and I opened my eyes, tears streaming down my face and onto my pillow. I shouldn’t feel this way, not after weeks of not missing her, I couldn’t just start missing her all over again. She broke my heart, I shouldn’t be crying over her anymore, I got over her. I was a hundred percent sure that I wasn’t hung over on her anymore, but I wasn’t a hundred percent sure if the feelings I had for her had disappeared along with her. But now, I have proven to myself that the feelings were still very much there - I was crying over her at two in the morning, missing everything about her. I clutched the sheets in my hand, sobbing into them while I cried all the ache out. I fell apart without her, and she was the only one who could put me back together again. She was the reason why I’m crying my eyes out on my bed right now, she’s the only reason. I continued to let the pain out through my tears and finally, the tears have finally ceased and I could breathe normally again. My consciousness began to drift away, yet she was still the last thing I saw before sleep completely enveloped me.
Luke:”Even though my dizzy head is numb, I swear my heart is never giving up. You’re the reason the only reason”
Everything about us, everything about her and everything we ever shared flashed through my mind like a series of photos, even a mini movie of some sort. I sat up, looking through the pictures of us on my phone, a smile making it’s way onto my face. The very first picture we ever took together as a couple came up, and I recalled the events of that day - we were out trying to buy some milk for my mother in the grocery when she slipped on some water near the liquids section. I caught her before she fell and pulled her up, and when I looked into those gorgeous eyes of hers, I knew that she was the one. We shared our first kiss shortly afterwards, and once we finished the grocery shopping, I asked her to be my girlfriend in her house’s living room. We snapped a picture of us in her living room to commemorate that day I asked her to be her girlfriend, and this picture was proof of that. I swiped my phone a few more times and it landed on a picture of her smiling, clad in my black Green Day shirt. She was sitting on my bed with her legs hanging off the edge of the bed, she looked like the happiest girl on Earth. This was taken after we had sex for the first time, I was a little hesitant at first because I wanted to make sure she wanted it too, but she reassured me that it was alright. That was the moment I realized she was the most beautiful girl I have ever laid my eyes on, and that she was the only person who could ever make me feel this way. The tears ran down my cheek as I began to cry silently, my head starting to pound as the tears increased. I set my phone down on the bed, putting my head in my hands as I continued to sob away the pain in my chest. There was something about her that I couldn’t shake off, no matter how hard I try to push her out of my mind and out of my heart, she would just find a way to sneak back inside. Although it’s been weeks since we broke up, I still try to find ways to bring her back to me. I needed her back in my arms, I needed her back with me, I needed her back in my life. She’s the reason why I lie awake at night, the reason why I fall apart randomly during the day and the reason why I keep fucking up on my songwriting and recording. She was always on my mind, and I just couldn’t get her out of there. I’ve been trying to call her though, trying to get her back because I couldn’t last without her. Despite the fact that she has already given up on us and everything we had, I could never do that. My heart won’t ever give up, even if it has gone through so much hurt and pain, it’s still alive and beating all because of her. My hand found my phone once more and I unlocked it, my lips curling up unconsciously when I saw my wallpaper - it was a candid photo I took of her during New Year. She was looking up at the sky, wonder and amazement present on her face as she watched the fireworks explode in the night sky. It wasn’t a really good shot because it was taken at midnight, but the fireworks illuminated her face enough and she was so beautiful. She was absolutely perfect and she’s my everything, she will always be my everything. She was the reason, the only reason.